Jackson and Me

 "What I really wanted to say was how this animal had touched our souls and taught us some of the most important lessons of our lives. A person can learn a lot from a dog…He taught me about living each day with unbridled exuberance and joy, about seizing the moment and following your heart. He taught me to appreciate the simple things- a walk in the woods… a nap in a shaft of winter sunlight. And as he grew old and achy, he taught me about optimism in the face of adversity. Mostly, he taught me about friendship and selflessness and, above all else, unwavering loyalty." –John Grogan

"A dog has no use for fancy cars or big homes or designer clothes. Status symbol means nothing to him. A waterlogged stick will do just fine. A dog judges others not by their color or creed or class but by who they are inside. A dog doesn't care if you are rich or poor, educated or illiterate, clever or dull. Give him your heart and he will give you his. It was really quite simple, and yet we humans, so much wiser and more sophisticated, have always had trouble figuring out what really counts and what does not. I realized it was all right there in front of us, if only we opened our eyes. Sometimes it took a dog with bad breath, worse manners, and pure intentions to help us see."

— John Grogan

     I don't ever remember Jackson being little.  To me, he was always this big, hairy, overweight puppy (Yes, puppy. I refer to all dogs of all ages and sizes as puppies because they are all just too cute to be called anything else. Except adorable. Or cuddly...But I digress).  Jackson was the best puppy.  We got him when I was eight, and I can't really remember how it was without him in our lives.  It's crazy to think that he had been apart of more then half of my life.  And now to think that he won't be there to greet me at the front door, tail going crazy when I go home for Thanksgiving makes me tear up.  

     To those who aren't dog people or for those who don't have pets, it probably doesn't make much sense to love an animal and feel such a strong connection with one.  But Jackson was as much apart of our family as any of our 'human' family members.  My brother and I grew up with him; we all grew up together. I would get in trouble for hitting my brother and Jackson would get in trouble for chewing something from the trash can.  Jackson would eat anything. And I mean anything.  Bathroom trash, keys, used tissues, packets of gum... You name it, he probably ate it.  He also survived eating a whole Sam's Club sized bag of chocolate chips and a bag of Hershey's Kisses (Not at the same time, but still).  His stomach was indestructible.

     He also enjoyed eating flies.  We would all gather and watch him track the fly, lunge at it and try to grab it with his mouth.  It was quite a funny site, mostly because he wasn't so good at the tracking part.  He would see it fly by and continue to stare at the point where he initially saw it until he heard it buzzing somewhere else, then he would whip around and try to find it again.  He was actually successful a number of times. And when he did catch one, he would run under the kitchen table and play with it for awhile. The look on his face as he saw the fly crawling around was priceless. It was like he was genuinely trying to figure out this strange flying creature but had no idea where to start.  Even in his last days, when we were waiting in the back of the Tahoe at the Pet Hospital, a fly flew by and Jackson perked up and got that look that said he was going to kill that fly if it ever came back into view.

      It's strange to say, but Jackson's passing is the first time I've really had to deal with death.  I know I'm lucky in that sense, but it feels pretty foreign.  Again, I know this probably won't make sense to the non-pet owners, but it's like I lost a family member.  Of course I felt really sad when I heard the news that we were going to have to put him down, but I think not being there has lessened the blow.  I think that when I go home and Jackson isn't there, it will really sink in.  But, I know it was his time to go, and I know that he isn't in any pain anymore.

     There are so many memories with Jackson, I don't know which ones to share.  One of the more (in)famous memories was when Jackson unintentionally put two staples in Michael's head. My family had come home from dinner or something and Jackson was so excited to see Michael that he jumped up to kiss his face, but ended up knocking him into the corner of the pillar and caused a slight cut on the back of my brother's head, needing two staples to fix up.

     Another memory I have of Jackson actually just came to me right now. When we were younger, we used to have a trampoline in our backyard and my brother and I taught the dogs how to get on it.  It was pretty funny to see them reacting to this new, bouncy surface. We never bounced them high or anything mean like that.  And even when the dogs were out there by themselves, we would catch them walking around on it.  It was quite the sight. Good times.

     But mostly when I think back on my time with Jackson, I think of how he was always there for me.  He was the most loyal dog.  Jackson would follow you around the house and lay by your feet.  Even when his back legs hardly worked and it would take him a good minute or two to lift himself onto his feet, he was always right there by your side.  I would feel bad and tell him not to get up, especially if I was just going to throw something away and come back.  But he wouldn't listen, mostly due to the fact that he's not too fluent in English, but I also like to think that that was just the kind of dog he was. There's just something about a dog's love that is so pure, non-judgmental, loyal and selfless.  Sometimes after a particularly stressful day, I would just sit down next to Jackson and pet and hug him.  And I just knew that he understood.

     If I could say something to Jackson, I would say thank you.  Thank you for being such an awesome dog, pet, and friend for so long.  Thank you for teaching me how to be loyal, selfless, a better friend.  Thank you for making me a better person. You will always have a special place in my heart. 

     Thank you for the past thirteen years, I love you.

P.S.  Say 'Hi' to Buster for me :)